Engineering Your Marriage: Big Money Mistakes You Can’t Make
Hi Reader,
Years ago, my wife and I planned a vacation. It had been a tough year, and we both needed a break.
She wanted to stay at a fancy resort with spa treatments and nice dinners. I wanted something simpler that wouldn’t hurt our savings.
We both had good reasons, but our talks were tense. I was worried about what it would do to our finances, and she wanted to enjoy the moment.
Money can easily create stress in a relationship, even when you’re planning something fun like a vacation.
Let’s look at some common money mistakes couples make and how you can avoid them.
Negative Attitude Toward Money
Your attitude is how you think or feel about things. When it comes to money, it’s about how you feel about spending and saving, and those feelings can make a big difference.
I remember when my wife and I argued about buying a car. She wanted a brand-new one, and I wanted a used one.
We agreed we needed a new car, but I was scared about what it would do to our savings. This fear made me hesitant, and it made the conversation tense.
I realized later that my attitude toward money was negative, because I was letting fear control me. Once I understood that, I could start thinking about money more positively.
High Debt
Debt is when you owe money, and it can be really stressful if you have too much of it. My wife and I felt overwhelmed by debt when we were raising our kids.
We were always worried about not paying bills on time, and it made us avoid talking to each other about money. But once we started making payments on time and saw our savings grow, we felt a lot better.
Managing debt together as a team can make it easier and less stressful, and it can even bring you closer as a couple.
Not Having a Spending Plan
Without a plan for how to spend and save your money, it’s easy to get into trouble.
My wife and I used to spend more money than we earned, and we didn’t keep track of where our money was going. When big bills, like taxes, came around, we weren’t ready.
This led to lots of arguments. The moment we realized we couldn’t keep living like that, we made a plan to control our spending. It wasn’t easy, but it made a huge difference.
With a plan, we knew where our money was going, and we stopped feeling like we were always behind.
Not Talking Enough About Money
Sometimes it’s easier to avoid talking about money, but that usually leads to more problems.
When my wife and I first moved into our home, she wanted to buy new furniture, but I didn’t think we should spend the money. Instead of talking about it, I avoided the conversation, and that made things worse.
When we finally talked about it, we compromised and bought less furniture. This taught us that talking openly about money helps us avoid fights and makes us listen to each other better.
If you keep quiet about money problems, they’ll only get bigger.
Keeping Money Secrets from Your Partner
Hiding things about money from your partner can break trust in a relationship. Whether it’s hiding spending or not telling your partner about financial decisions, keeping secrets can lead to big problems.
I remember lending money to a family member without telling my wife. When things didn’t go as planned, and the family member didn’t repay the loan, my wife and I both felt angry and hurt.
We learned that honesty is always better, especially when it comes to money.
Handling money responsibly in a marriage isn’t just about the money itself—it’s about talking openly, trusting each other, and working toward the same goals.
By avoiding these common mistakes, you and your spouse can create a strong, happy partnership. It’s not about being perfect with money; it’s about working together and staying on the same page.
🎓What I Have Learned
With honesty, open communications and a willingness to look at your finances objectively, couples can avoid becoming victims to the top money arguments and move forward as a cohesive team. - Mary Crary
✒️Guest Author
My colleague Jose V. Sanchez, CFP® , says if you're curious to discover the transformative power of a spending plan and how it can positively impact your life, click the link ahead to read the full blog! ‘5 Healthy Emotional Benefits Of Creating A Spending Plan’
📝Knock out these money-related tasks now to help you finish the month strong
- October is Cyber Awareness Month
Protect your passwords. The most effective passwords contain uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers, and symbols and do not contain words found in a dictionary.
- Revisit your “Why”
- Let in a new perspective
- Open enrollment for 2025 health insurance coverage begins on November 1, 2024 and ends on January 15, 2025
- If you’re a big Halloween fan, budget for it
📖Money IQ - Your chance to gauge your money knowledge
IQ Question
What are the three types of expenses in a budget?
A. Flexible, Floating, Fixed
B. Wants, Needs, Bills
C. Fixed, Flexible, Discretionary
D. Pay now, pay next month, pay upon death
📢Testimonial
I was a lot less guilty with my expenses because I was recording where everything was going. I was setting & meeting my savings goals as well, & I plan on continuing this habit. I have set some goals for the future as well & plan on being self-accountable to be able to meet the goals. Overall, it's been a great experience for me. Being able to record everything also gives me a better sense of how to plan for the month ahead. M.L.
🔶You don't have to keep stressing. If deep down you know that you are not happy with your money, book a call today. FREE 30-minute "Squash Your Stress"
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😀Celebrate.
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